Now that my first semester just begun, university is doing those events where they introduce everybody to whatever they need to know. Like, how to find out when to go where, what kind of form you need to get your hands on to do stuff and so on…
Especially the first day, when I met other people studying with me for the first time, was very scary for me. I got up at about 6am, which actually was twenty minutes earlier than I needed to, and wanted to throw up real badly. Just the thought of being confronted with so many new people at once gave me chills down my spine and triggered fear of another breakdown.
Around 8.00am I arrived at the final train station before my destination. All I had to do was to get on that last train, the ride with which took some 25 minutes, and arrive at university. But I didn’t get on that train. I just sat there, at the train station, and waited. I let the first train pass, then the second. They cycle back and forth every 10 or 15 minutes, so I would still be in time. But I just sat there and asked myself whether I actually want to do this – studying, going to university, cracking my brain with our world’s mysteries. For whatever reason I started questioning my decision and, by doing so, questioned the dream I once had.
In the end, I got on the third and last train that could bring me to universtiy before 9am.
After all, the day ended rather nice. I met three people that seem to be quite okay (I’m a Finn, don’t blame me for not instantly liking everyone). In the very beginning I was very nervous and accidentally made two of my fingers bleed, but once the day was over I even was a little happy that I decided to go.
Still, during the entire 1.5 hours of train ride I questioned whether I really want to study physics or whether I should switch to mathematics next semester.
I am happy that I didn’t have an actual down this day.
Despite an ‘impending doom’ beginning, I sort of liked this day.
Stay alive, all you beautiful people.
Source, btw: http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Einstein-Curiosity-Posters_i7676636_.htm